Pappy Sevi's Fairytales
by Realmi
Summary: ***CHAPTER 5 IS UP I think it's the last!!!**** Severus is hired to baby sit my younger sibs, we join them at bed time as Sevi trys to tell them everyone's favorite fairytales, the Harry Potter way! :)
1. Hermione, Hermione, let down your hair.

Pappy Sevi's Flaming Fairytales!

By: RealmWanderer

Act: O1 Hermione, Hermione, let down your hair.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! I'm not making any money! So don't sue me, unless you want the lent in my pockets!

**Author Notes**: Sevi is hired (by me of course) to baby-sit my younger sibs. Now it's bad time and he is forced to tell them fairy tales, oh what fun! I hope you all enjoy this, and since I'm really, hyper and laaaaazy right now, this is gonna be in script format. Well, sit back and enjoy the ride and be glad you're not one of these kids.

***

**Sevi**: Once upon a flaming time, there was a couple, the….er… Grangers. But you see, brats…er…kids, they couldn't have kids on their own so they….

**Jackie**: Her tummy wasn't big enough?

**Will**: No you idiot! The stork didn't know where they lived!

**Jackie**: Ooooooooh!

**Sevi**: Will both of you shut up?! Ten points from Gryffindor!

**All kids**: Gryffin what?

**Sevi**: ***slaps forehead*** Of all the kids she had to make me read to, it just had to be muggles! Anyway, since they couldn't have kids on their own, they made a deal with a witch…

**Michelle**: ***screams***

**Sevi**: WHAT NOW!?

**Michelle**: Witches are scary ***Sevi slaps forehead***

**Jackie**: Never mind her, read the rest of the story!

**Sevi**: I'm getting there brat! The deal was, the witch would give them a baby, but after four years, the witch got the baby back.

**Michelle**: That's not much of a deal!

**Sevi**: What would you know about deals?!

**Michelle**: **sticks out tongue** My dad watches market watch!

**Sevi**: Oy! Anyway, they had a baby and named her Hermione, when four years pasted the witch got the baby back and everyone lived miserably ever after, the end.

**Will**: THAT STORY SUCKED!

**Michelle**: OOOOOOOO! I'm telling RealmWanderer that you weren't a good babysitter!

**Sevi**: Fine! When four years pasted the witch came to take the baby, the parents wouldn't let the baby go so the witch killed them.

**Jackie**: ***screams*** THAT'S MEAN!

**Sevi**: That's life.

**Will**: What happens next?

**Sevi**: Well, the witch locked Hermione up in a tall tower and left her there. Over the years her hair grew very, very, very, very, very long. Soon, she was able to throw her hair out the window and it could touch the ground.

**Michelle**: Did she brush it?

**Sevi**: Never in her life, in fact, spiders and birds lived in her mop.

**Michelle**: That's gross

**Will**: That's cool.

**Jackie**: Do wash your hair?

**Sevi**: ANYWAY! One day, Prince Potter walked by with his sidekick, Ron. 

**Hermione**: Yoo hoo?

**Prince Potter**: Do you hear something Ron?

**Ron**: Yes, O great one, it's coming from that tower.

**Prince Potter**: Really?

**Ron**: Yes, my lord.

**Prince Potter**: Hello? How are you?

**Hermione**: Very bad, you see I'm stuck in this tower and there is no way to get down.

**Prince Potter**: Hmmm that is a problem, well as a prince it's my duty to save you! Come, partner, let's find a door!

**Ron**: I don't see any, my prince.

**Prince Potter**: Then how did she get up there?

**Ron**: Why don't you ask her?

**Prince Potter**: Good idea. How did you get up there?

**Hermione**: Long story, just climb up my hair!

**Ron**: Wouldn't  that hurt?

**Hermione**: Naw.

**Prince Potter**: I'm on my way!

**Ron**: Be careful, my prince!

**Michelle**: Are they gay?

**Will and Jackie**: What's gay?

**Sevi**: ***coughs*** So Prince Potter climbed up her hair and then threw her out the window, and Ron caught her. Prince Potter than rode back to his castle were he and Hermione wed. The End.

**Michelle, Jackie, and Will**: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

**Sevi**: ***gets up from the chair he was sitting in and walks down the stairs to wait for RealmWanderer to return from the Anti-S.W.A.T. (Stop Wacko Authors Team) meeting. A car is heard pulling into the driveway. The door opens and RealmWanderer walks in.***

**Me**: Hey, Sevi, how was your time?

**Sevi**: Your siblings are trolls!

**Me**: You don't have to live with them. 

**Sevi**: Thank Merlin that's over with.

**Me**: Oh no it's not! ***reaches into pocket and pulls out several pieces of paper that read "I will baby sit Michelle, Jackie, and Will Singed Severus Snape."*** You'll be baby-sitting 'em until all of your debts are paid.

**Sevi**: That's the last time I play poker with you!

**Me**: WAHAHAHAHA! 

**Sevi**: ô.o ***raises eyebrow and leaves***

***Fin? No Way!***

**Endnotes**: So ends the first chapter of Pappy Sevi's Flaming Fairytales, tell me what you thought.  


	2. Ginny and the Seven little men

Pappy Sevi's Fairytales

Act: 02 Ginny and the Seven Dwarfs

By: (who else?) RealmWanderer

Disclaimers: I don't own any of the hp characters; I just toy around with their lives!

Author's Notes: Wow! Chapter Two up only a day after chapter one! Wow (again)! I had no idea that I would get such responses! Well, I had two reviewers ask for a Snow White tale… so here it is! Poor Sevi!

Me: ***opens the door, it's Sevi!*** Glad you can make it on such sort notice!

Sevi: Isn't it a little late for you to be going out?

Me: Emergency, my Guild sista, Dmaio, has gone after Ryoga again. Raven and I must go find her!

Sevi: ***veeeeery sarcastically*** And we can't live without her.

Me: ***sarcastically***  Thank you so much for your support! The trolls are in their room, read 'em a story. And whatever you do, no mater how tempting, don't put them in the microwave! ***runs out the door and into to her car. Then drives off***

Sevi: ***under his breath as he walks up the stairs*** At least she didn't say anything about not putting them in the stove! ***walks into Michelle, Jackie, and Will's room***\

Jackie and Will: ***singing (rather badly)*** YES I'M SLIM SNAPEY, I'M THE REAL SNAPEY! ALL YOU OTHER WILL SNAPEY ARE….

Michelle: NONONONONOOOOO! IT'S THE REAL SLIM SHADY YOU IDIOTS! ***whacks the two outside the head***

Jackie: ***cries, screams, and claws at Michelle***

Will: Oh look! It's Sevi!

Sevi: That's Professor Snape to you!

Will: SNAPEY!

Sevi: ***looks over at Jackie and Michelle*** Stop that right now, or I'll make you two scrub pans!

Jackie: Pans?

Michelle: ***snudy look on face*** I did the dishes already!

Sevi: Oy!

Jackie: Read us a story, Snapey!

Sevi: Fine what story do you want to hear?

Jackie: ***jumps up and down***  SNOW WHITE! SNOW WHITE! SNOW WHITE!

Sevi: Ummmmm ***thinking*** Crap! I don't know that story! ***aloud*** Errrrrr…. Once upon a flaming time, there lived a small princess named Ginny….

Michelle: I thought her name was Snow White.

Jackie: That's what it was in the Disney movie!

Sevi: Disney's a liar. Anyway, one day she got lost in the woods. After three days of wandering, she stumbled upon a small box?

Will: Didn't the dwarfs live in a house?

Sevi: It was a rather big box, ok brat? Anyway, she walked into the box and saw seven little men, their names were, Fred, George, Percy, Harry, Neville, Ron, and…er…Cerdic.

Ginny: Ah! You're all so small!

Fred: Why do you think we live in a box?

Percy: You're so rude, you didn't even introduce yourself! ***grabs Ginny's hand*** Hello, I'm Percy.

George: The Pompous! Hi I'm Fred!

Fred: no I'm Fred!

George: You ruined it!

Ron: Don't mind them, I'm Ron.

Harry: I'm Harry.

Cerdic: I'm Cerdic, nice to meet you.

Neville: ***blushing*** I'm…I'm Ne…Neville.

Ginny: Hi! I'm Ginny!

All guys: AS IN PRINCESS GINNY?! ***Ginny nods, darwfs bow***

Ginny: No need for formality! I'm really hunger, have you anything to it?

Neville: Yes, yes! ***runs off***

Michelle: Why are all those guys living together? Are they gay?

Jackie and Will: WHAT'S GAY!?

Sevi: Just what is your fascination with homosexuality?

Michelle: I was just asking!

Sevi: ***shakes head*** Be glad, you're not on of my students, be so glad!

Michelle: Why? Are you gay?

Sevi: ***looks like he's trying really really hard not to slap her*** No, okay? In fact, I'm quite taken by a lady named Ilana*.

 Jackie and Will: WHAT'S GAY!?

Sevi: ENOUGH! Anyway, The next morning the darwfs went of to work, promising to return Ginny home as soon as they got back. As soon as they left a witch came by and poisoned Ginny, she could only be woken if someone kissed her.

Michelle: TRUE LOVE'S FIRST KISS!

Sevi:ô.o Riiiiiiiiight. Anyway, the darwfs came home and saw her dead not knowing what to do because they had brains the size of gnats, they put her in a flied of lowers and thought that was good enough. Then they went home.

Jackie: They just left her there? 

Sevi: Yep.

Jackie: That's wrong!

Sevi: Oh well, anyway, a while later, Prince Draco came running in the flowerbed. He thought Ginny had just passed out, so he performed CPR, well, he did it wrong and ended up kissing Ginny Instead. Ginny woke up and fell madly in love with Draco, they run off to Draco's castle and got married. The End.

Will: The story ***yawn*** was too girly for me….zzzzzzzzzzz….

Jackie: Night, SNAPEY! Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Michelle: Zzzzzzzzzzz

Sevi: ***sighs and leaves down the stairs, he hears the telephone ringing and picks it up*** Hello?

Me: Hey, Sevi babe! I'm lost some where in Japan and won't be back for a while, man the fort for me ok?

Sevi: ***sighs*** You say that as if I have a choice.

Me: ***laughs*** Thank you, handsome.

Sevi: You're such a flirt.

Me: No complaints so far, bai bai! ***hangs up***

Sevi: She better not me gone long. ***goes over to the couch and gets some well deserved sleep***

***Fin? No way!***

*See my other hp story "Don't make me crazy like you"

End notes: THANK YOU! Thank you so much for reviewing! I hope this chapter was as up to par as the last one. I'm so surprised that I wasn't flamed! That probably just changed by putting Gin and Draco together…. I swear, that is why I shouldn't eat sugary cereal! Oh well!

***Bowls kisses*** Bai bai! And don't forget to review!

p.s.: Erin, Kait, I don't know how you two got in the story, but you did!


	3. Dracoella

Pappy Sevi's Fairytales

Act: 03 Dracorella. (I'm so gonna get flamed for this!)

By: RealmWanderer

Declaimers: Do I really have to say this? It's just so painful! Ok, I don't own anything except my younger sibs, ok?

Author's notes: OH MY LORD! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ALL DIDN'T FLAME ME TO THE GROUND! You all like this story? WOW! Okay, will someone please read, "Don't make me crazy like you?" I actually put thought into that one and I only have one review, it would be funny if it wasn't so pathetic, but what the heck? Laugh anyway. 

***

Sevi: ***on phone*** When are you coming back?

Me: That's just it, I don't know, I'm lost remember?

Sevi: ***rolls eyes*** Where are you?

Me: I DON'T KNOW YOU IDIOT!

Sevi: ***sighs*** 

Me: Look, I got to go, this Ryoga guy we're with is doing something freaky with his bandana. (Forgive me Rumiko Takahashi!)

Sevi: Fine, it's time I read to your hellish siblings anyway.

Me: Later handsome!

Sevi: Never say that again.

Me: Good-bye o cute one!

Sevi: Or that. ***hangs up the phone, then walks up the stairs to Jackie, Michelle, and Will's room*** Hello, children.

Jackie: Hello, Sevi!

Sevi: I'm Professor Snape to you.

Will: Ok, Professor Snapey!

Sevi: Ugh!

Michelle: Why isn't RealmWanderer home yet?

Sevi: She's lost somewhere in Japan. 

Michelle: Oh.

Will: What story are you reading to us tonight, Snapey-head?

Sevi: I don't know.

Jackie: CINDERELLA! CINDERELLA! CINDERELLA!

Sevi: Fine! Once upon a flaming time there lived a family called the Malfoy's, they had one son and they named him Draco. 

Michelle: That's a funny name.

Sevi: Anyway, as time goes by, the Malfoy's began to worry about their son. He was such a jerk to everyone and they thought he would never get married. So, they made a deal, they would throw a party and if he didn't pick a girl to marry, he would be disowned from the family and they would try for another heir.

Jackie: Um……er…… are you making these up?

Sevi: What do you mean?

Will: Last night's story was really bad!

Sevi: be quite and let me finish! In another house lived a girl named Hermione, she worked as a maid and, by a fluke, was invited to the party.

Draco: Who are you?

Hermione: My name's Hermione.

Draco: I'm Draco.

Hermione: Ok.

Draco: I hate parties!

Hermione: Me too, they just give me an excuse to get of work.

Draco: oh, ok.

Sevi: ***yanws*** What time is it?

Will: 1 then a 3 then a 7!

Sevi: What…?

Michelle: It's 1:37am.

Sevi: WHAT!?

Jackie: you shouldn't have talked to my sister so long.

Michelle: Snapey and RealmWanderer, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Sevi: I'm a little too old for her. ***yawns (he to tired to be angry)***

Michelle: Yea… besides her boyfriend might not like that.

Sevi: I don't think he would.

Michelle: Would your boyfriend like that?

Sevi: I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND! Merlin, what is your damage!?

Will: Are you going to finish the story?

Sevi: fine. Draco picked Hermione cause she was the only girl he knew and they lived miserably ever after the end!

Sirius: That was a terrible story!

Sevi: Black! What are you doing here?!

Jackie: Not another crazy haired guy!

Michelle: Is this your boyfriend?

Sevi: ***puts hands in face***

Sirius: RealmWanderer called me and told me to help you with them. She said something about not putting them in the microwave and trying not to kill you.

Sevi: And you're just doing this out of the goodness of your heart? ***sarcastic!***

Sirius: ***smiles*** That and the fact I owe her from a poker game a couple months ago. 

Sevi: ***glares and goes down the stairs to call Realmie*** WHY THE HECK DID YOU CALL BLACK?!

Me: Oh, he's there already? I thought you could use the help; two heads are better than one you know.

Sevi: Except when one head is a dunderhead!

Me: Know, Sevi, you really need to work on that low self-esteem!

Sevi: I detest you!

Me: ***laughs*** play nice now; I'll be back as soon as I can. Bai bai!

Sevi: ***hangs up the phone and goes to the couch where he gets some nice sleep***

***

Endnotes: Wow! A third chapter! I don't know how Sirius got in here, and I don't care. Please review, and someone please read my other story! Ok, yea, I hope you liked it, and yea…I'm sleepy. ***yawns*** It is 3:30…yea…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


	4. The Big Bad Snape

Pappy Sevi's Fairytales

By: Realmie

**Author's notes: Thank you! Thank you sooooo much for all of your great reviews! I read them all I would answer but my e-mail's down right now. Sorry for the delay, honors English summer reading project. (ooohs and aaaahs from Sev, who thinks I'm a dunderhead). Hope you all enjoy the fourth chapter of Pappy Sevi.**

***

Sevi: ***on the phone with Realmie*** So, are you any closer to coming home?

Me: I'm still lost, dunderhead!

Sevi: ***sighs*** 

Me: So, how are the trolls?

Sevi: Oh, they're fine, annoying as ever.

Me: How's Sirius?

Sevi: ***eye twitches*** He's making them food as we speak.

Me: That's nice to hear. You two getting along?

Sevi: Why do you ask those stupid questions!?

Sirius: ***Rubbing hands with a dish rag*** Is that Realmie? I wanna talk to her.

Sevi: Well you can't!

Me: Put him on!

***Sevi throws the phone at Sirius, rather hard***

Sirius: Hey, Realmie! What's news?

Me: Nothing, how are my sibs treating you?

Sirius: Not to bad, so long as they are well feed. Jackie and Michelle are at a sleepover. 

Me: So, it's just you guys, eh? ***hears very loud yell that sounds like "DIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!"*** Gottta go, remember, whatever you do, don't put them in the microwave! ***hangs up but not before we hear the words "SHI SHI HOKUDAN!"***

Sevi: So, what did the wicked witch of the weird say to you.

Sirius: ***impish smirk on face*** Just telling me how I'm her favorite…

Will: I wanna story!

Sevi: Not to night brat!

Sirius: And you wonder why this kid doesn't pay you any respect! 

Sevi: ***in his soft deadly whisper ((swoon))*** I believe that RealmWanderer put me in charge long before you, Black!

Sirius: What you gonna do, cry about it!?

Will: Where's my story?

Sevi: ***snarl*** Hey Black, why don't we make this a little more interesting?

Sirius: How so, Snape?

Sevi: I bet, I can tell a better bed time story than you.

Sirius: What do I get when I win?

Sevi: You don't have to cook meals tomorrow night.

Sirius: And what do you have to do when you lose?

Sevi: ***in that cold voice of his*** _If I lose. _

Sirius: **grins** Trust me, you're gonna.

Sevi: ***growl*** The loser will have to sing the kids to sleep every night until RealmWanderer comes home. The kid will judge.

Sirius: Ha! Done! You go first!

Sevi: Fine! ***Sirius laughs and leaves*** Boy, I'm going to tell you the story of Pinocchio. 

Will: Goody! I've never heard that one.

Sevi: Once upon a flaming time, there was a carpenter who had no children. So one day….

Will:  What was the dude's name?

Sevi: Er….. Arthur…. Arthur Weasly.  

Will: Hey! That name's almost as funny as yours!

Sevi: Insufferable brat…. Anyway, Mr. Weasly made a deal with a witch…

Will: What is it with you and witches?

Sevi: What is it with Michelle and asking everyone personal questions?

Will: I don't know…

Sevi: Well neither do I! Well, anyway, the deal was, the witch would make Mr. Weasly's next two puppets come alive is he would….er… marry her! So anyway, Mr. and Mrs. Weasly set to work and soon made two puppets, lone named Fred, and one named George!

Fred: Hi ho Kermit the frog here from sesame street news!

George: hey there hi there ho there come and join the jamboree! M-I-C-K-E-Y! M-O-U-S-E! 

*~*~* Author's Notes: I couldn't resist! It was just too much!*~*~*

Sevi: So anyway, the twins Fred and George soon made a name for themselves the "Weasly Twins". Mr. and Mrs. Weasly knew that they got more than they bargained for. They cast them out onto the street and told them never to return unless they became real boys. Soon, they found out that the only way to become real is to stop playing pranks on people.

George: Screw being real!

Fred: We'd just being doing the same thing only without people yelling at us.

Sevi: So Fred and George lived insanely ever after. The End.

Sirius: Please! Let me tell a real story! Hey, Will, have you ever heard the story of the three little Hogwarts students?

Will: Is it like the three little pigs?

Sirius: Kinda, once upon a time, there were three Hogwarts students, Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

Will: I've heard those names somewhere…

Sirius: ***trying to change the subject*** Yes, yes, well, one day, their terrible teacher, Snape, made them do a terrible assignment.

Will: What?

Sirius: He made them make houses out of raw materials.

Will: Raw materials?

Sirius: Like straw and stone.

Will: Ah.

Sirius: Harry made his house out of straw. The big bad Snape came by and poured acid on his house. Harry's house of course, melted and Snape gave him a zero.

Will: Hey Sevi! This Snape dude sounds almost as mean as you!

Sirius: ***smiles*** Anyway, the big bad Snape then went to Ron house, which was made of sticks. The same thing happened to Ron house as with Harry's and they both got zeros.

Will: What about Hermione's?

Sirius: I'm getting there. When the big bad Snape got to Hermione's, which was made of new acid proof stones, Snape's vile plan didn't work, and Hermione got full marks.

Sevi: ***though clenched teeth*** You've got to be kidding me! And you have the nerve to say my story was bad!?

Will: That was such a cool story! Hermione got the better out of the big bad Snape, ha! That's great! He was mean!

Sirius: Heh heh heh, hear that Snape? I win!

Sevi: ***growls and stomps up stairs***

Sirius: Alright Will, up to bed it's late.

Will: Ok! ***gives Sirius a hug and runs upstairs***

Me: You would make a really great father.

Sirius: Realmie? What are you doing in the T.V.?

***View changes, we see myself inside the T.V.***

 Me: Oh, the telephone was getting boring.

Sirius: ***smiles*** So, how are you doing?

Me: Oh, I'm fine. Ryoga's a little crazy, Dmaio's gone love sick, and Raven is angry that we can't find our way out of the forest.

Sirius: Sounds like fun.

Me: Yeah…_sounds like fun._

Sirius: See any of the sights?

Me: No, but I've met the weirdest people.

Sirius: Not as weird as you for sure.

Me: For sure. Will in bed? 

Sirius: Yep, and Snape's singing to him.

Me: Lucky boy! He won't sing for me, even when I ask nicely.

Sirius: You're a laugh in a half, so here any news while you're up East?

Me: Well, yea, a girls been kidnapped by a powerful being.

Sirius: Voldermort?

Me: ***shakes head*** No, something else, but this is going to postponed my coming home.

Sirius: So, you're not lost in Japan?

Me: Shhh, don't tell Sev!

Sirius: ***chuckles*** Alright. 

Me: I gotta go. Bye. ***Sirius waves good bye and the scene goes blank***

***

Endnotes: Whew! Another one done! I hope you all liked it! Thanks to Shelly for the great idea about the three little pigs, and sorry Megan, but the Lion King is a movie not a Fairytale! As some of you might not know about Ranma ½ don't worry about it. It's only a dopey side story that has nothing to do with Pappy Sevi.

Now be good little boys and girls and wave your wands to the box below!  

With hugs, flowers, and chocolate,

RealmWanderer


	5. The return of the wicked witch

**Pappy Sevi's Fairytales**

**By: Realmi**

**Chapter 5: Return of the Wicked Witch**

*******

**Severus: *on phone with Realmi* Come home right now!**

**Realmi: That's a little tough right now, I'm a tad busy.**

**Severus: Doing what?**

**Realmi: TRYING TO FIND MY WAY HOME!!!**

**Severus: *pulls phone away from ear***

**Realmi: Anyway, I wan tot talk to Sirius.**

**Severus: He's busy!**

**Sirius: No I'm not!**

**Realmi: Put him on right now!**

**Severus: *chuck phone at Sirius***

**Sirius: Hey, what's up?**

**Realmi: We saved that girl.**

**Sirius: That was fast.**

**Realmi: Yeah, it was, but oh well.**

**Sirius: When are you coming back?**

**Realmi: Tonight.**

**Sirius: Did you tell Snape this?**

**Realmi: Nope! I want it to be a surprise.**

**Sirius: Okay, I won't tell him.**

**Realmi: Good boy! Anyway, I have to go, bai bai!**

**Sirius: Bye, Realms.**

**Severus: *with folded arms* What did the wicked witch of the weird want?**

**Sirius: Walk slowly in the rain with you, you lucky devil you.**

**Severus: *glares***

**Sirius: Anyway, don't you have lullabies to sing?**

**Severus: *glares harder***

**Jackie: *bounces into room* Tell me a story, Sirius!**

**Sirius: Okay, hey! Michelle, Will! Get down here, I'm telling a story.**

**Michelle and Will: *run down stairs***

**Michelle: What story?**

**Sirius: Ummmm…… how about… Sleeping Beauty?**

**Michelle: Okay!**

**Will: Aw… another girlie story!**

**Jackie: Begin, begin!**

**Sirius: Okay, once upon a time, there was a king and a queen who longed to have a son of their own…**

**Michelle: I thought sleeping beauty was a girl.**

**Sirius: Well, she's a boy now. Anyway, one day, a son was born and they named him, Severus.**

**Severus: *raises eyebrow***

**Sirius: One day, a wicked witch came to the castle and fell madly in love with Prince Severus.**

**Severus: *rolls eyes* Let me guess, her name's Realmi?**

**Sirius: Correct! Anyway, because Prince Severus was to be married to Prince Re…… *Snape cuffs him outside his head* Ow! Okay, since Prince Severus was… er…**

**Will: Wasn't the witch mad that she wasn't as cute as the prince?**

**Sirius: Okay, okay! The witch was mad that Prince Severus had better hair then her and so she put him to sleep.**

**Severus: *walks out of room unable to take anymore of this***

**Sirius: One day, however, a short young lady came and fell in love the fair prince; her name was the Princess Erin. **

**Michelle: The Princess Erin?**

**Jackie: That's a dumb name.**

**Will: Well, this is a dumb story. Fairytales are for girls!**

**Sirius: *laugh* Anyway, the only way to break the curse and wake up the prince is to defeat the Evil Count Realmi and her army of giant lizards and a horde of hamsters that she borrowed from her friend Dave.**

**Jackie: Thought she was a wicked witch.**

**Sirius: She got a promotion.**

**Michelle: Wouldn't she be a countess Anyway, Princess Erin's love for Prince Severus could not be stopped by the forces of evil.**

**Princess Erin: Realmi! I'm gone kick your ass for putting my Sevi to sleep!**

**Evil Count Realmi: I'd like to see you try!**

**Sirius: And so, Princess Erin and the Evil Count Realmi fought long and hard. It seemed the Evil Count Realmi had the upper hand, but then, Princess Erin used her powers of love and friendship to defeat evil. **

**(****Erin****: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!?)******

**Evil Count Realmi: Don't kill me…**

**Princess Erin: Then release Prince Severus!**

**Evil Count Realmi: Okay, okay.**

**Sirius: And so, love dominated over evil, however, there was one little catch before they could wake up Prince Severus.**

**Erin****: I have to what!?**

**Realmi: Wear this and sing the theme song. *holds up a Sailor Moon outfit***

**Erin****: You're evil.**

**Evil Count Realmi: Hence the title "The Evil Count Realmi."**

**Erin****: *swears all things sweet and tasty to kill her as she put on the outfit***

**Evil Count Realmi: You forgot the wings.**

**Sirius: And after a few snapshots and a theme song, Prince Severus was awake and he and Princess Erin rode of into the sunset to live happily ever after in a castle in the sky. **

**Severus: *throws a shoe at Black***

**Sirius: *ducks* Missed me. Don't you have a lullaby to sing?**

**Severus: *grumbles but clears throat* Fine. *sings*]**

**It's too late to cry I love you.**

**    The wind still blowing, my heart still aching**

**One side of my eyes see tomorrow,**

**    And the other one see yesterday**

**    I hope I could sleep in the cradle of your love, again**

**Cry for me, somebody, with dry eyes**

**Realmi: *walks in and hears he song and decides to sing along***

***The real folk blues**

**    I just want to feel a real sorrow**

**    It's not bad a life in the muddy river**

**    If life is once**

**Hopeless hope, and the chance with traps**

**Severus: *singing* What is right, or wrong**

**    It's like a both side of a coin**

**How long I must live till I release?**

**Realmi and Severus together: *singing* ****The**** real folk blues**

**    I just want to feel a real pleasure**

**    All that glitters is not gold**

**Jackie, Michelle, Will: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz**

**Realmi: Kids these days, they don't appreciate good music.**

**Sirius: *snorts* Well, glad you're home, babe.**

**Realmi: *glomps Severus* Ooooooo, you sing do sexy!**

**Sirius: I'm leaving… *goes to door, no one notices* Bye!**

**Realmi: Sing for me again.**

**Severus: No.**

**Realmi: Please?**

**Severus: No!**

**Realmi: *pout***

**Severus: That's not gonna work.**

**Realmi: Dammit!**

*****Fin (I think)*****

**Realmi: Okay, that was a very odd chapter. I don't know how the ending theme for Cowboy Bebop got in there, but it did…… Oh well, did you know that Ginger Ale is tasty and the root of all happiness?**


End file.
